Man : Serene (Contentment)

Peace of mind, contentment, happiness and freedom from worries and anxiety — these are what everyone wants and these are the ways in which people can have  a good life, complete happiness and joy.

Contentment is the 'acknowledgement and satisfaction of human needs and trying to reach the full capacity of the needs.' There are levels of capacity to reach the contentment: either sought after, expected, desired, or simply predetermined which provides contentment.

 

 
Psychology:

Contentment, defined as the state of being satisfied, is closely associated with the concept of happiness. Social scientists study what might contribute to living a good life, or what would lead to people having increased positive mood and overall satisfaction with their life.

Happiness, is defined as how much positive emotion (Positive Affect) as opposed to negative emotion (Negative Affect) does a person have, and how does one view one's life overall(global satisfaction). It is more associated or closely related to a person's level of satisfaction with his/her life (global satisfaction).

Variables that Contribute to Happiness:

  i. Satisfier vs. Maximizer

A Satisfier is a person who will make a decision once his/her criteria are met, and 
A Maximizer, on the other hand, won't make a decision until every possible option is explored. 
A Satisfier is positively associated with happiness, and being 
A Maximizer is negatively associated with happiness. 

    ii.     Genes and Happiness

     A 'depressive brain' can be inherited, there is a strong relationship between happiness and genes (or the happy brain, if you will). Happiness is 50% heritable. 
     There is a genetic set point that each person has inherited and although people may fluctuate from that set point, based on negative experiences that they may encounter, they will come back to that level of happiness that they were genetically predisposed to having.

  iii.      Personality and Happiness

Theory called the Big Five Factor, which are these five aspects of heritable personality traits: 
      a. Openness to Experience, 
      b. Conscientiousness, 
      c. Extraversion, 
      d. Agreeableness, and 
    e. Neuroticism. 
Research has shown that personality is 50% heritable. There are two aspects of personality which are related to happiness. 
There is a strong relationship between Extraversion and happiness, in that the more extraverted a person is (or behaves in fact) the more happy he/she will be. 
The other aspect of personality which has a strong relationship to happiness is the genetic predisposition to Neuroticism. The more neurotic (emotionally unstable) a person is, the more likely he/she are to be unhappy.

  iv.     Goal Pursuits and Happiness

Reaching goals that are important to you and that are in alignment with your personality, can contribute to your feelings of confidence and mastery. It is important to establish goals that are neither too easy nor too hard, but that are optimally challenging. It is also important to note that investing energy in avoiding goals will contribute to diminishing happiness as well as deter one from reaching one's goals, which can be quite intuitive to understand.

   v.      Money and Happiness

Many people strongly associate money with happiness, and they believe that being rich will contribute greatly to making them happier, and we see that this idea is increasing as the American society reflects this growing materialism. 
 Although wealth is associated with some positive outcomes, i.e. better health, and lower infant mortality, and can act as a buffer in certain instances, as mentioned previously, the overall relationship between money and happiness is that important. 
     That is that, beyond a low threshold where the basic needs are met, money has a very small impact on happiness. There is also the concept of the Diminishing Marginal Utility of Income (DMUI), which is that money has no effect on happiness once a certain income level has been reached, and which represents wealth and happiness as having a curvilinear relationship.

List of Contentment

        A happy person, despite their conditions, is happy because he chose to be happy. He found contentment in what he already had, instead of wishing he had something else, instead of being discontented with what he had. Contentment not only made us happy, but it transformed my life in many ways. Here’s how.

o   Happiness
 
     
     People relate “contentedness” and “happiness” as one and the same. In many ways, they are, but it’s really a matter of focus. When you’re happy, it’s really a state of being, influenced by a number of factors, including contentedness.

Contentedness, on the other hand, is a matter of being satisfied with what you have. It focuses on what you have and don’t have instead of just being a state of being. It influences happiness. However, you can choose to be content, just as you can choose to be happy, and if you choose to be content, you will be happy.

There are many ways to become happy — you can become happy by doing certain things (running, getting into flow, music), you can become happy because you are loved or in love, you can become happy because you just won a competition or a million dollars. Being content is just one way to be happy, but it’s a great way.

o   Simplicity
It’s about being content with less, with a simpler life, always wanting more, need to acquire more, and never being content.

Simplicity means examining why you want more, and solving the issue at its root. At the root of wanting more is not being content with what you have. Once you’ve learned to be content, you don’t need more. You can stop acquiring, and start enjoying. And that contentedness leads to simplicity.

o   Finances

The reason we get into financial trouble, oftentimes, is that we buy more than we can afford. And the root of that buying is buying things we want instead of only things we need, and the root of that is not being content with what we already have.

Finding contentment with the stuff you have and with a simpler life can lead to buying less, to buying things we need instead of want, and to only spending what we can afford. I know this first-hand, as uncontrolled spending led to debt for me, and contentedness led to me getting out of debt.

o   Relationships
Many times it seems that we’re never satisfied with being with others. They don’t behave how we want them to. That’s often at the root of relationship problems, as many-headed as those problems may seem.

Instead, learn to be content with the person, just as they are. This isn’t always easy, as we are usually trained (by our well-intentioned but never-satisfied parents, and others around us) to do just the opposite — to try to change people. However, you will only find trouble if you try to change others. You might get them to change their behavior (but most often not), but they will be unhappy, and in turn the relationship will suffer.

Admit to having a problem at times, but when this happens, try to remind myself to love the partner as whom they are. A beautiful being and no justification to change them. This has always led to a better relationship.

o   Kids
Parents are seldom satisfied with their children. They need to be cleaner, better behaved, better in school, more organized and studious, more courteous and kind and compassionate, better groomed and better at sports. Well, that leads to the relationship problems, later in the kids’ lives, as they have learned to never be satisfied with others and to try to change them.

It will also leads to inferiority complexes in our children, in unhappiness, and in bad relationships with them. Instead, we should learn to love our children unconditionally, to accept them for the people they are, and to let them know this through not only our words but our actions.

Accept children for who they are, and they will be happier, and so will you.

o   Jobs
Should we be content with our jobs? You shouldn’t stick with a dead-end job and a boss that treats you like dirt. If you’re unhappy with your job, change it.

However, being a content person in life will generally helped you at any job. Discontented people tend to be complainers, or grumpy, or negative. That leads to problems at the job. People who are content tend not to complain and tend to have a more positive attitude, and in my experience that almost always lead to more opportunities, both within the job (promotions, new projects, etc.) and outside the job (job offers, networking, etc.).

o   Social change

Mahatma Gandhi had two seemingly contradictory quotes on the subject of contentedness. 
          The first: “Man’s happiness really lies in contentment.” 
      And the second: “Healthy discontent is the prelude to progress.”

This might seem confusing until you look at how Gandhi brought about change. He was discontent with the system of oppression in his country, so he sought to change it. However, he was content as a person, with who he was and what he had in his personal life. 
 This inner content allowed him to have the inner power to face (and eventually beat) the very powerful authorities in his country at the time. He could face them because nothing they could do to him could take away his happiness. They could take away all his possessions, throw him in prison, take away even food, and he was content.

He taught his fellow countrymen the same lesson, to make the best of what they had in India (making their own simple clothing, making their own food) instead of wanting the commercial goods from foreign countries. 
Being content with such simplicity would give them the independence from foreign commercial powers, and eventually (as they are part of the same organism) foreign political powers.

     So social change can still happen if you are content with yourself, with your life, but not content with the system of oppression around you. This system, in my opinion, is responsible for holding us down, for the deaths of millions of people in Third World countries … but it isn’t until we learn to be content with what we have, and free ourselves of our dependence on commercial goods, that we will be able to change the system for good.

 

Tips for cultivating contentment

a.      Express gratitude

Gratitude is more than saying thank you. It's a sense of wonder, appreciation and, yes, thankfulness for life. It's easy to go through life without recognizing your good fortune. Often, it takes a serious illness or other tragic event to jolt people into appreciating the good things in their lives. Don't wait for something like that to happen to you.

Make a commitment to practice gratitude. Each day identify at least one thing that enriches your life. When you find yourself thinking an ungrateful thought, try substituting a grateful one. For example, replace "my sister forgot my birthday" with "my sister has always been there for me in tough times."

Let gratitude be the last thought before you go to sleep. Let gratitude also be your first thought when you wake up in the morning.

b.     Cultivate optimism

Develop the habit of seeing the positive side of things. You needn't become a Pollyanna — after all, bad things do happen. It would be silly to pretend otherwise. But you don't have to let the negatives color your whole outlook on life. Remember that what is right about you almost always trumps what is wrong.

If you're not an optimistic person by nature, it may take time for you to change your pessimistic thinking. Start by recognizing negative thoughts as you have them. Then take a step back and ask yourself these key questions:

·     Is the situation really as bad as I think?

·     Is there another way to look at the situation?

·     What can I learn from this experience that I can use in the future?

c.      Find your purpose

People who strive to meet a goal or fulfill a mission — whether it's growing a garden, caring for children or finding one's spirituality — are happier than those who don't have such aspirations.

Having a goal provides a sense of purpose, bolsters self-esteem and brings people together. What your goal is doesn't matter as much as whether the process of working toward it is meaningful to you.

Try to align your daily activities with the long-term meaning and purpose of your life. Research studies suggest that relationships provide the strongest meaning and purpose to your life. So cultivate meaningful relationships.

Are you engaged in something you love? If not, ask yourself these questions to discover how you can find your purpose:

·     What excites and energizes me?

·     What are my proudest achievements?

·     How do I want others to remember me?

d.     Invest in relationships

Surround yourself with happy people. Being around people who are content buoys your own mood. And by being happy yourself, you give something back to those around you.

Friends and family help you celebrate life's successes and support you in difficult times. Although it's easy to take friends and family for granted, these relationships need nurturing.

Build up your emotional account with kind words and actions. Be careful and gracious with critique. Let people know that you appreciate what they do for you or even just that you're glad they're part of your life.

e.      Live in the moment

Don't postpone joy waiting for a day when your life is less busy or less stressful. That day may never come.

Instead, look for opportunities to savor the small pleasures of everyday life. Focus on the positives in the present moment, instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future.

f.       Remind yourself.

When you find yourself unhappy with someone, or trying to change them, stop yourself. Take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you should try to be happy with that person for whom he/she is. Take a moment to think about the good things about that person, the reasons you love that person. Then accept their faults as part of their entire package.

g.      Stop, and consider why you want something.

When you feel the urge to buy something, think about whether it’s a need or a want. If it’s a want, take a pause. It’s good to wait 30 days — keep a 30-day list … when you want something, put it on the list with the date, and if you still want it in 30 days, you can buy it). Consider why you want something. Are you not content with what you already have? Why not?

h.     Take time to appreciate your life!

I like to reflect on my life, and all the good things in it, on a regular basis. I do this when I run, or when I watch the sunset or sunrise, or when I’m out in nature. Another great method is a morning gratitude session — think of all the things and people you’re thankful for, and thank them silently.

i.       Show people you appreciate them.

 It’s good to appreciate people, but it’s even better to show them. Give them a hug, smile, spend time with them, thank them out loud, and thank them publicly.

j.       Breathe, and smile.

. Sometimes when we take the time to breathe, and smile, it can change our outlook on life.

k.      Learn to enjoy the simple things.

Instead of wanting to buy expensive things, and spend money on doing things like eating out or entertainment, learn to enjoy stuff that’s free. Conversations and walks with other people. Spending time outdoors. Watching a DVD or playing board games. Going to the beach. Playing sports. Running. These things don’t cost much, and they are awesome.

Checklist for being content in life involved:

•   Connecting with people each day
•   Having a healthy routine
•   Getting sleep and taking a religious/moral outlook
•   Working on a meaningful project
•   Giving generously to the people around us
•   Being wise with my finances
•   Having some sort of artistic creative expression in life
•   Having a long-term vision for life

“As a rule, man’s a fool. 
When it’s hot, he wants it cool. 
And when it’s cool, he wants it hot. 
Always wanting what is not.”

Excerpt and extracts taken with thanks from:

Mayo Clinic staff

Leo Babauta.

Wikipedia