Humanity : Gloom (Negative Alcoholism)
WHAT IS A NEGAHOLISM?
A. Negaholism
Negaholism is a prevailing disorder that is sweeping the
globe. Negaholism is a syndrome whereby people unconsciously belittle their
inherent characters, underrate their wants, and sabotage their wishes, desires,
and wants dreams.
Negaholism are present in daily lives of normal people. Self-imposing their limits
to happiness, joy, and fulfillment and polluting the mind of the majority of
the population in an unexplained ways. This beliefs, attitudes, and perceptions
made them feels restricted, constrained, and curtailed and have reached an
epidemic proportions.
“Negaholic Syndrome
Nega = negative, holic = one who is addicted to something. A
negaholic is one who is addicted to negativity. Negare is a Latin root meaning
to deny.
a.
The “I can’ts” are denying the “I
cans”.
b.
Denial, “I can’ts” refuse to accept
the fact that the “I cans” are capable, competent, able to give you what you
want.
c.
The “I can’ts” deny that the “I
cans” are worthy, loveable, and deserving.
A negaholic is one who is victimized by their inner forces
that are waging a war of self-negation attitudes, thoughts, words, or behavior.
These forces keep you trapped in a private dungeon with graffiti over the walls
saying : “You can’t be it. You can’t do it. You can’t have it. So forget it!”
The “I can’t” self-smirk and says “I told you so” when its predictions is
right.
Addictions
There are three elements that create the conditions conducive for addictions.
- It overwhelms the individual life experienced.
- The overwhelming situations results in stress for the individual.
- The overall ending is the feeling insufficiency and incapability to meet life’s challenges
Negaholic
pattern
- The need for attention.
- The inability to give or receive positive attention.
- The ingrained habit of focusing always on the wrongful.
- The Brain opioid peptide systems an important role in motivation, emotion, the response to stress and pain, and the control of food intake opiate peptides chemical charge to the brain when being severely criticized.
- The simultaneous feel bad, coupled with the significant need of attention (feel good).
The
addictive pattern takes hold, and one becomes a Negaholic!
B. Psychology
Negativity is like second-hand smoke. It not
only permeates the room but has dire health consequences for those unfortunate
enough to be in its path.
According
to neuroscientists, our brains are hardwired to focus more on the negative,
including worry, disapproval, danger, illness, fear, and even the word, “no.”
As we verbally express these thoughts, additional stress chemicals are released.
The
listener’s brain is changed too, feeling
more anxious and irritable. Trust and cooperation between people is
undermined. In short, negativity can destroy family relationships and cause
emotional harm.
The Power of YEESSS
Neuroscientist
Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Prof. Mark Robert Waldman, authors of the book Words Can Change Your Brain, show
how negativity and stress are related. For example, with just one flash
of the word “no,” our brains release dozens of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters that
create havoc with our normal functioning.
Barbara
Fredrickson, a pioneer in the positive psychology
movement, discovered how positive thoughts affect the brain. In her book, Positivity: Groundbreaking
Research Reveals How to Embrace the Hidden Strength of Positive Emotions,
Overcome Negativity, and Thrive,
Fredrickson
shows how to overcome our bias toward negativity by
developing a 3:1 ratio of positive to negative thoughts.
When
we achieve this balance, we are more likely to find ourselves in caring
relationships and productive work situations.
For a moment, think how many times children, teens and
adults hear the word “no” or experience negativity in their families or
classrooms or office. Each exposure to negativism, as well as the human own
negative thoughts, is likely to cause emotional turmoil over time.
How
do we help achieve the optimum balance between negativity and positivity?
There
are several parts to the puzzle. First, we must acknowledge that adult behaviors
influence children. And second, we must understand how human develop their own
patterns of positive thinking.
C. Types of negativity
There
are negativity present in a mind/brain (be it human, animals, birds or any
living organism with a brain. Below is a brief description of each of the
negativity :
·
Suppression –
Humans,
indulge and practice suppression in many ways and sometimes even associate the
word “noble” with it. We like to suppress our natural drives, our natural
movement, our thoughts and our emotions, in a bid to feel more in “control” of
our life.
However,
suppression of any form is not natural and hence always has a negative
repercussion. Once your you reached a sanity awareness, you will stop trying to
suppress the physical aspects in you and allow them to play out their role in
the presence of the wisdom of your awareness.
The
only reason we ever try to suppress something is out of fear, it’s not “noble”
or holy, it’s just fear. Anyone who is free of identification with fear, does
not indulge in suppression tactics or techniques – and thus becomes more
“natural” in his/her behavior.
·
Neediness –
When
we feel a sense of shortfall in our needs, we will look to the outside to gives us the sense of “completeness”. The inner feeling of you can’t live without
something/someone, then you become needy : for approval, love, physical gratification and
entertainment (material or spiritual).
Desire
is natural, but to be essentially needy all the time is a evolve toward negativity. There is a big difference
between neediness and a desire for a certain experience. For example, you can
desire the experience of an intimate relationship and that’s totally natural,
but when you are needy of a relationship which connects to negativity. When
there is a lack of inner worth, neediness is unavoidable.
·
Over-sensitivity –
It’s
good to be sensitive towards life, but it sensitivity point can over/imbalanced
to become a source of suffering for you. People who are over-sensitive are easy
targets for abuse because of their tendency of “self-sacrificing” (which seems
noble but is just an imbalance). People who are over-sensitive are definitely
“nice” but can easily become offensive due to their suffering-attitude.
·
Greed –
The
mindset of the need to over-indulgence or excessiveness. It is also a
reflection of inner deficiencies as to compensate the hollow, emptiness
feelings of man. Greed has a negative connotations as it stems from shortfall in our
needs and expecting much more.
·
Exploitation –
When
we lack a sensitivity towards life, we start committing unnecessary abuse and
exploitation towards others. Some even exploit/abuse as means of entertainment,
which is quite astonishing to ponder but it’s still the truth.
·
Cynicism –
The
mindset of being cynical (having a critical outlook) is one which lacks
sensitivity and love. Cynical people are always trying to put others down,
usually out of their need for a sense of superiority (which is indicative of an
inner lack).
·
Unworthiness –
The
mindset of having self-hatred where you intrinsically feel that you don’t
deserve good things in your life.
·
Self-pity –
The
mindset of indulging in a sense of “why me” or harboring thoughts like “I am so
good but why others are so mean to me”. People who indulge in self-pity are
prone blaming the outside for their miseries and always consider themselves as
the victims of life. They sometimes purposely engage some form of abuse in
order to feel more pity for themselves.
·
Arrogance –
The
mindset of “I am the best around” or “I am powerful ”, the narcissistic
behavior. Arrogant people genuinely feel superior about themselves but their
lack of sensitivity towards life causes them to stay disconnected with several
aspects of well-being.
·
Jealousy –
The
mindset of comparing, where you feel bad about your contentment, or abundance,
of others.
·
Dullness –
This
negativity arises when you develop a feeling of hopelessness towards life where
you just become insensitive to its aliveness.
D. Causes of negative attitude
There are a
number of causes behind a person experiencing negativity attitude be it in the
workplace or his personal life. The foremost amongst these is that a person is
dissatisfied with the way his life is going or has shaped up. If a person is in
an unfulfilling relationship, or if he finds himself pursuing a profession he
is least interested in, he is bound to feel frustrated and develop negative
feelings.
§ Limiting
beliefs.
The
main cause of negative attitude is wrong beliefs
about life or certain aspects of it. Seeing the life through your beliefs and
if your beliefs are negative, you will see your life as unhappy or downright
pointless.
§ Negative
family/friends.
Friends
and family affect how you feel. If your family is negative, they affect your bad
attitude. If only you can decide how you feel and not dictated by others. You
and only you can decide how to react to anything that happens to you.
Don’t
response when someone tries to get you upset.
You can choose to remain calm or even be happy. If you allow others to decide
how you should feel, you let them have control over you. That’s, of course, not
a wise decision since people usually mind their own well-being first.
§ Choices.
If
your family is negative, for example, you can choose to live away from them or
at least see them less often. If your friends are negative, you can simply
refuse to be with them. This will definitely be beneficial because then nobody
will reinforce your negative beliefs and thus cause your negative attitude.
Remember,
however, that you attracted your friends
and because of that you have the power
to attract better ones.
§ Negative
environment.
There
is a relation between your thoughts and the environment that you find yourself
in, you have the power to change it. When you think you are powerless over your
environment and your environment is negative that causes your negative
attitude.
To
change that you need to understand that your thinking has
led you to this environment and it wasn’t by accident. So to
change your negative environment you need to change your thinking which will be
described further on in this article.
§ Unsatisfying
circumstances/life.
If
you find yourself complaining about how unhappy you are, it’s the reason you
have such a negative attitude. Your complaining alone can keep you stuck in the
circumstances that you find unsatisfying. If you don’t change your life and
persistent complaining, you won’t improve your life.
E. Effects of negative thinking?
The following are some of the most
common effects of negative thinking:
- Feeling down.
The
extent of negative feelings can go from anger, frustration, irritability, to
even anxiety and depression, passing through many other feelings, none of them
pleasant.
- Physical effects:
The
body lowers its defenses, as negativity subtracts from our energy. Because of
the emotional negative state we're in, it's also easier to see oneself less
attractive and not care for our physical needs.
Besides,
an extreme negative emotional state can cause eating disorders: from over
eating to a complete lack of appetite and not eating enough (and not caring
about it).
- Closing oneself down to possibilities and the flow of abundance.
When
we are in a negative state we do not attract those elements that would make our
lives advance; rather we attract the circumstances that support us in thinking
something is wrong, and we get stuck.
Simply
put, when we stay thinking negative, we attract negative emotions and events.
Thus when one is in a negative state everything seems to go wrong.
- A negative effect in others.
Have
you ever wondered how you may be affecting other people because of the way you
feel?
Think
about when a relative, a friend or someone at work seems to be having a bad day
and how you feel when you come in contact with them.
You
could be making others feel the same way when you are wrapped in your own
negative thoughts.
- It's a waste of time!
Look
at all the effects of negative thinking explained above; can you tell me one
single benefit of thinking negatively and being in a negative mood?
Any
other than the realization that it's much better to think positively, negative
thinking doesn't contribute to our lives; rather it detracts
F.
Snap Out Of The Negative!
It is clear
that being a negaholic isn’t the desirable thing to do. But changing years of
negativity can take some time, especially when it is second nature to doubt
yourself as well as have negative connotations for everything!
But it
doesn’t mean that it is impossible to snap out of your negative attitude. Yes,
you may slide back into being a negaholic once in a while but don’t beat
yourself over it. The most important thing is to keep looking at the positive
side of things and to keep trying.
However,
by taking small and consistent steps you will gradually become a happier
person.
It may be
hard to believe, but emotions can become habits that have been formed through
repetition. As such, negative emotions can become something that infiltrates
your everyday life. Do you find that you’re constantly down on the world and
yourself? Do you get annoyed easily and become bitter with people? Is anger
your natural response to something?.
1. Stop Justifying
First and fore mostly, you need to stop justifying getting angry and upset over everything. Stop thinking that you’re entitled to be so negative, because you’re not. The only person responsible for this is you.
If you stop justifying your negativity to yourself you won’t have a reason to be angry, and much more people will actually enjoy being around you. Get over the spilt milk.
2. Stop Making Excuses
You need to stop making excuses for both yourself and others. Perhaps you rationalize your own actions and why it’s okay for you to verbalize your anger. Or create explanations as to why other people deserve your anger. Either way, you’re trying to invent a socially acceptable explanation for your behavior.
The only problem is that it isn’t acceptable and all its doing is keeping your negative emotions alive and making you miserable in the meantime. Eventually there will be no one left to care but yourself. Stop making yourself a victim. Really think about whether or not these other people have actually done anything wrong.
3. Start Taking Responsibility
Now that you’ve stopped making excuses, it’s time to take some responsibility for yourself and your actions. As soon as you do this, you will start depriving your negative emotions of the power they hold over you. What right do they have to your life anyway? Own your problems and your actions and stop blaming other people. It’s called being a happy, functional adult.
4. Rise Above Other People’s Opinions
You need to stop giving others so much power. Don’t let anyone but yourself define yourself image and self-worth. This is important, but if you define yourself through others, you are far more likely to be miserable.
This is because as soon as you hear anything negative, you’re likely to react with anger and embarrassment. You’ll feel ashamed and inferior and may even begin indulging in self-pity that could lead to depression. The joke will be on you though, because in most cases, the people who made you feel this way won’t even realize it. They’re busy with their own lives. All of the negativity and hurt actually comes from you. You need to stop giving a crap about what other people think immediately. You’ll be much happier for it.
5. Quit Your Negative Habits and Avoid Bad Influences
Some habits and people purely and simply bring you down. It may difficult to do, but you need to remove these things from your life. Don’t hang around people who are negative all of the time. Instead, surround yourself with happy and positive people who take joy in life. You’d be surprised how easily their attitudes can rub off on you. Furthermore, don’t engage in behavior that may make you angry and depressed. If that beer or joint is going to have a negative effect, put it the hell down.
6. Think Before You Respond
Calm yourself down.
Let’s say you’re in a situation where your natural reaction is to yell or send a passive aggressive message. Stop. Question yourself.
a. Is this something you really want to do?
b. Is it actually that bad?
c. Is it even worth being angry or upset over?
d. Did the person you’re about to react to actually do anything wrong, or is it in your head?
e. What are some of the possible consequences of these actions? Will it destroy a friendship? Will you be stewing over it for weeks?
These
are just some of the questions that you need to start asking yourself before
you react negatively to something. You may just find that you’re grateful that
you thought about it before acting. Or maybe, because I have trouble being
concise, by the time you get to the end of my questions, you’ll forget what
even happened in the first place.
7. Be Grateful
Instead of constantly obsessing over how bad your life is, start being grateful. What are the things or people you have in your life that you can be thankful for? Start defining your life by the good, as opposed to the bad. Get into this habit by thinking of at least one thing every day that you’re grateful for.
8. Remove “I Can’t” From Your Vocabulary
This is a simple one. Saying “I can’t” to things, including letting go of negative emotions, will make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. You can’t because you say you can’t. Stop placing limitations on yourself and give yourself some credit. You can if you say you can. Unless it’s something like diving out of a plane without a parachute and thinking you’ll survive. You probably can’t do that.
9. Just Let Go
Most importantly, you need to try and let go of your negative emotions. Holding onto them and subsequently applying them to every little thing that goes wrong isn’t healthy. In fact, it’s dangerous. A great deal of negative people doesn’t know how to feel much else and aren’t satisfied unless they have something to whine about. Ironically, they’re not happy unless they’re unhappy and actually go looking for conflict. Do you really want to be that person? If nothing else, it sounds exhausting. Let it go, people. Just let it go.
G. Conclusion
A negative state of
mind is not caused by a single emotion; it is a build-up of triggers that will
eventually distort reality.
Create an honest outlook of your life, by being mindful of your environment, and rejoice in all that is positive in your life.
Create an honest outlook of your life, by being mindful of your environment, and rejoice in all that is positive in your life.
Excerpt and extracts taken with many
thanks from :
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