Man : The Boss (Being the Boss)



Being the Boss
Maybe you’ve been doing it for a while or this is all brand new roles to you - Being a Leader.  It is not going to be easy and full of days from hell. Regardless of your tenure, a few simple rules and realities that all leaders need to keep top of their mind and thinking about this all the time.
 

Role of Being a Leader
       a.      It does not mean being an autocratic, micromanaging, iron fisted ruler…
     b.   Neither does not mean being a push over, laissez faire, or “don’t rock the boat” carefree to employee
        c.      Being a Leader is Not a Popularity Contest
      d.  Being Their Friend and Their Leader (Boss) is a slippery slope – navigating carefully on. It requires changing roles between “on and off duty”. And when you are on duty, it means…
Taking Charge – Taking Command (but in a shared leadership approach)
         e.      It also requires Managing Expectations:
i.       Simply put, tell me up front what you want from me.
ii.      It is Positive Discipline – Rules, Regulations, Expectations, Policies understood up front
iii.     It is giving clear direction, managing expectations, and holding one accountable to these expectations.

Bully Leadership
Bully Leadership is a fast track way to get your business, productivity and profitability back in line!
Masses of managers have found that ruling by fear is easy and effective: barking out orders, blaming others; being disrespectful; recruiting henchmen, valuing only a select few; building divisiveness; threatening consequences; using harsh directions, and frequently imposing disciplinary procedures for non-compliance, you too can get results!
Definitions of a Bully Leader.
- Coward
- Disrespectful
- Aggressive
- Controls
- Interferes
- Dominates
- Plagiarizes
- Random and impulsive
- Intentional causing pain
- Tyrant
- Command and Control
- Duplicitous
- Autocratic
- Dictator
- Inconsistent

Reason for being Bully Leaders
  1. Quick Result
One reason is because their approach delivers quick results. Bully leaders are into the quick fix. They want instant results and they are not willing to invest the time in their people. For bully leaders, fast results are more important that building a team. Bully leaders are impatient – they want change now!
  1. Old Boys Club
Another reason is that Bully Leaders were promoted by other bullies. The “old boys club” is alive in well in the workplace today. You promote like thinkers. Bullies promote other bullies. It is just common sense. And one promoted, there is pressure on the new bully from the other managers to continue the abuse.
  1. Victims
Finally, Bully Leaders were bullied themselves. They are victims of past injuries, and they now have an opportunity to unload their shame on their subordinates. There is a huge science behind victimization that I will not get into now. But suffice to say, some bully leaders have serious issues and they need help now.

Leaders Concept
      Leadership is about inspiring the preferred future through your people. It is hard to get inspired when you are micromanaged, and not trusted.
        A simple rule…
Go Hard With the Issues, But Soft on People
You Manage Things – You Lead People
You do both. Depending on your role, you may be required to be more of a manager than a leader.
Management –
A Balanced Leadership
The Management Roles
The Leadership
Roles
a.  You are both a Manager and a Leader
b.  You Manage Things
c.  You Lead People
d.  Mistake Commonly Made is…Treating People Like Things
i.       Policy
ii.      Rules
iii.     Process
iv.     Money
v.      Systems
vi.     Standards
vii.     Measurements
a.   People
b.   Context
c.   Culture
d.   Purpose
e.   Principles
f.    Inspiration

The Most Misunderstood Aspect of Great Leadership
The most misunderstood and often overlooked element of a great leadership; affording leaders the greatest opportunity for personal, professional, and enterprise growth are – letting go (surrender).
i.  Letting go (surrender) – not for the faint of heart
The words leadership and surrender are rarely  used together in a complementary fashion. Humanity has labeled surrender as a sign of leadership weakness, when in fact; it can be among the greatest of leadership strengths. The need to learn the subtle art of letting go.
A leader simply operates at their best when:
a.      they understand their ability to influence is much more fruitful than their ability to control
b.      the purpose of leadership is not to shine the spotlight on yourself
c.       to unlock the potential of others so they can in turn shine the spotlight on countless more.
Control is about power – not leadership. Surrender allows a leader to get out of their own way and focus on adding value to those whom they serve.
ii. Letting go (surrender) – control freaks need not apply
Leadership need to focus on letting go, not control, consider this:
a.        Control
i.       It restricts potential, limits initiative, and inhibits talent.
ii.      Controlling leaders create bottlenecks rather than increase throughput. A signal of a lack of trust and confidence, and often come across as insensitive if not arrogant.
iii.     It demands the ego-centric leader to be served
iv.     Experienced weak teams, micro-management, frequent turf wars, high stress, operational strain, and a culture of fear, you are experiencing what control has to offer
v.      Simply attempting to consolidate power
vi.     Control messages selfishness
b.        Letting go
i.     Letting go (surrender) fosters collaboration, encourages innovation and enables possibility.
ii.    Allows the savvy leader to serve
iii.  Established a culture of leadership.
iv.  Prefers loose collaborative networks over rigid hierarchical structures allowing information to be more readily shared and distributed.
v.    Thinks of goodwill of community, ecosystem, and culture – not organizational chart.
vi.  Allows the dots to be connected and multiplied, the calculus of a leader who understands letting go is built on exponential multiplication.
vii. Facilitating the distribution of authority, build into others more than glorifying self and developed a level of leadership maturity that values surrender over control.
viii.  Mind setting the desire for leaders to give credit rather than take it, hearing over being heard, dialogue instead of monologue, an open mind over a closed mind, to value unlearning as much as learning.
ix.  Letting go conveys selflessness

Letting Go – when not to
  1. Letting go is honorable. Letting go to their ego, to the wrong priorities, or to other distractive habits.
  2. A positive realization, leaders are not the center of the universe – the need to let go to something beyond themselves in order to accomplish more for others.
What you do or don’t let go to will define you. Assuming you surrender to the right things, surrender is not a sign of leadership weakness, but is perhaps the ultimate sign of leadership confidence. I’ll leave you with this quote from William Booth: “The greatness of a man’s power is the measure of his surrender.”
The problem of letting go.
Organizations grow when new competent talent steps in.
Reasons letting go challenges longstanding leaders:
1.      Identity: Who am I after I let go?
2.      Confidence: Will I perform as well?
3.      Ability: Can I learn new skills and behaviors?
4.   Uncertainty: How will new leaders perform? There are no guarantees new people will perform. In the short-term they may not do as well as long-termers.
5.      Place: Where’s my place in these new patterns?
6.      Meaning: Are new roles fulfilling and meaningful?
7.  Preparation: How has new talent been prepared for new leadership roles? Lack of leadership-development may be the number one reason leaders won’t step back so others can step forward.
A must:
Letting go isn’t optional – organizational success demands it. New talent produces new perspective, innovation, fresh vitality, and forward momentum.
You can’t:
You can’t step away even though you must let go. Bringing on new talent is never exemption from your leadership-responsibility.
Letting go without giving in:
1.      Attend fewer meetings.
2.      Coach, mentor, and train new leaders. Privately prepare new leaders to lead the meetings you led. Guide the process, enhance their skills, and let them run.
3.      Talk less ask more.
4.  Talk values with new leaders before ventures. Values-alignment anchors safe, stable environments.
5.      Suggestions become imperatives. Your casual suggestions, even if you aren’t leading the meeting, become company policy. Make fewer suggestions. Explore the suggestions of others.
6.      Conduct after-action meetings with new leaders.
7.      Expect reports; create accountability.
8.      Celebrate progress.
Becoming a manager is, for many, a thankless job. But with the right preparation and the right mindset it can be fulfilling career option, one that leads to powerful self awareness as well as a greater gift, the ability to get things done through the efforts of others. All it takes is a willingness to learn and a commitment to growth and development. 

Excerpt and extracts taken with thanks from :
http://leadershipfreak.wordpress.com/2012/01/07/how-to-let-go-without-giving-in/

http://www.forbes.com/sites/mikemyatt/2012/12/26/the-most-misunderstood-aspect-of-great-leadership/


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