Man : Sole Provider (Single Parent)


A single parent usually refers to a parent day to day responsibilities in raising of the child or children, 
the dominant caregiver who is not living with a spouse or partner.
Historically death of a partner was a major cause of single parenting. Single parenting can result from separation or divorce of a couple with children.



The financial and emotional responsibilities of single parents are indeed very great. It is a great strained to the physical emotional of single parents.
Self-pity and depression are the main caused of stress of being single parents. Below are some concerned:
A.   General
  1. Have a positive outlook on life - This step applies to anyone in any situation.
o   To counter the many challenges, struggles: life skill management need to be instilled  : a positive attitude.
  1. Be patient - patience is the number one rule when it comes to kids.
o   Don’t worry about the nitty gritty of the small kids - Spend all the time you can with your child/ren playing, teaching and learning in a positive setting.
  1. Show love and affection - don’t be afraid to give your child/ren lots of hugs and kisses.
o   Show and proved to the child/ren  affection and true love are the most important thing in your life,  each and every day.
  1. Accept help from others - as the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child.
o   If family members and/or friends are willing to help, any extra help from people you trust will help with the challenges of single parenthood.
  1. Manage your time wisely - create a schedule that works for you and your child/ren.
o   Schedule your day and focus on making time for your child/ren and work. Prioritize the activities.
  1. Acquire a strong work ethic - you need a strong work ethic to become a successful single parent.
o   Provide your child/ren with the best in life.
  1. Be supportive of your child/ren’s hopes and dreams.
o   Show support for your child/ren’s activities and be for them when needed.
  1. Let your child/ren know how important education is - keep the lines of communication open with your child/ren’s school.
o   Talk and query  teachers  on the performance of the children.
o   Communicate with your child on ways to improve their education.
  1. Take some time out for yourself - everyone needs time to themselves to stay sane.
o   Take a relaxing bath, favorite television show, or spending the day at the spa with your friends.
B. Mental health
  1. Maintain a sane and blameless mindset.
·         Create and clarify your values and beliefs
·         Have dignity.
·         Believe in yourself.
·         Douse your life with faith, clean conscience, and good habits.
·         Have a positive outlook on life then only can you succeed.
  1. Skills.
·         Introspect your skills
·         Take parenting classes. Remember, parenting is a learned skill. Parental skills are learned.
  1. Take responsibility.
·         Guard the welfare of  the child/ren.
·     Be the comforter, sustainers’, care and nurturance of the children, household and financial responsibilities. Balanced the responsibility
4.       Establish a support system that you are comfortable with.
·         Clear away with toxic friends and stay connected wisdomful and helpful friends.
·         Your safety and the safety of your child/ren is a priority.
·         Stay in a good neighbourhood and community.
  1. Fight loneliness.
·         Busy yourself with activities - paint, draw, read, sing, and mend something, pray.
·         Socialize
C. Financial Health
  • Get help.
§  When children are involved, agencies are available for assistance. "Ask and you shall receive."
o  Social service agency in your area. They will offer guidance and direction for food, medical attention, housing assistance as well as financial and legal advice.
o  Local religious and charitable organizations may offer additional assistance with food and gifts.
  • Set goals and make a plan.
§  Realistically, you may not be able to support yourself and your children if your financial situation remains the same. There is a  need to improve your income by seeking further education.
o  Examine the expense. Ask friends, relatives or neighbors if they would be available to babysit before and after school or on a periodic basis.
o  Contact the financial aid office at your local community college to explore what is offered - books, transportation and day care as well as tuition and fees.
o  Evening classes are available after work.
o  Pursue any further educational opportunities and advancements in your place of work in the meantime. Working from home may not offer these same benefits.
  • Live according to your income.
§  Work with what you have and do not accumulate debt.
o  Find cheap housing along with fuel and housing assistance, if needed. Some landlords will reduce rent.
o  Limit the use of utilities.
o  Travel only to work or school. Do errands along the way home.
o  Find inexpensive transportation, if needed. Walk, jog, ride a bike, carpool or take the bus.
  • Limit grocery expense.
o  Use grocery coupons or buy the generic store brands.
o  Look for combination discounts, such as a generic store brand on sale with a coupon, customer reward card for a discount at a store where you frequently shop.
o  Learn to cook from scratch and pack a lunch and simple nutritious diet of whole grains, legumes and vegetables.
o  Find free recipes online or at the library. Cook in advance and freeze well.
o  Three basic meals without snacks in between can be sufficient.
  • Limit the expense of possessions.
o  Have a basic wardrobe of  clothes, if possible.
o  Visit thrift stores or consignment shops for formal clothes and shoes, if needed. Sell and trade your own used clothes for others.
o  Find toys and household items at yard sales. Have your own sale with items no longer needed.
o  Live with less. Buy only what you absolutely need. Better yet, do without.
  • Find fun for free,  have faith in yourself and in the future
§  Go to the park, a walk in the woods or visit with your neighbors. .
§  Save change and pinch a few pennies to buy an ice cream or see a movie.
§  Hard work will eventually improve your lives. Concentrate on the positive and surround yourself with positive people to spur your motivation.
D. Social Health

  • Start seeing social life time as relevant to you.
§  Balanced your life; benefit from the inclusion of social time.
§  Banished any thoughts that your wish to have a little time to yourself is selfish, irresponsible or disloyal
§  Rediscover your lost social connections.
§  Need to  reenergized , renewed vigor, and rediscover positive things about yourself
  • Face the logistics/facts.
§     Accept that needing other people's help to care for your children .
§   There are always people willing to help out provided you're willing to ask – don't be afraid to ask for help.
  • Make the Time.
§     Social life doesn't happen unless you choose to make it happen and that involves planning and allowing yourself the time to do something for yourself
§    Sit down and work out when you'd like time to have social events on your calendar; perhaps once a week, once a month, or tri-monthly –
o      Lower your household standards. Make things clean enough rather than super clean, tidy enough rather than immaculate.
o      Think shortcuts about every household chore to gain yourself more time
o      Get the children to pick up after themselves, to be responsible for household chores and to be prepared to pitch in from as early an age as possible.
§     Careful planning and choose about what to do, you can have a great time out without spending a lot of money.
o   Visit a museum or art gallery. Depending on where you live, some have free or low entry prices and many offer special discount days.
o   Visit the park. Take a picnic and have lunch with a friend you haven't caught up with in ages.
o   Eat at  cheap eateries
o   Exercise with friends and socialize
o   Visit a bookstore and simply browse in an uninterrupted, free way that reminds you of the days before children
o   Go window shopping in your favorite mall or high street.
  • Bring the children to socialize with you.
§   There are many places you can indulge in your interests where the children will be happy too.
§    The change of environment will do you all good.
o  Socialize with friends who have children so that you can all bring the children along. The children can play together and the adults can relax together.
o  Take the children for a hike, bike ride or picnic. Getting outdoors is energizing for all of you.
o  Go on a vacation together, even if it means simply throwing your gear in the car and travelling to the mom and pop motel in a local town.
  • Meet new people.
§    Using the internet you can find your dream matches at home and meet up for a coffee after getting to know one another a little online.
o  Be realistic and honest. If you do hit it off with someone, let them know early on that you're a single mom. And it can be helpful to find someone who has children too; they "get" what you're experiencing and will be much more understanding.
o  If you do intend dating someone, be aware make available for dates can make or break the relationship date!
o  Avoid connecting any transient dates with your children. Only introduce a date when it's absolutely clear that you both have serious intentions about one another.
o  Be careful. When meeting people for the first time in real life, always meet in a public place and don't go anywhere alone with them until you know them a lot better..
  • Talk to other single moms online to share ideas and tips about social life as a single mom.
§  There are lots of single mom forums and sites you can join and they are fantastic resources for asking questions, getting information and simply sharing stories about your experiences.
o  You'll learn how other single moms make time for themselves and some of their tips and tricks might work for you too.
o  Websites such as Meetup.com will have events for single moms in your area and if you can't find one for where you live, opt to be an organizer of such events yourself.
o  Other gathering opportunities for single moms can be found through you, community centers and anywhere that arranges events for children where the moms can sit around and chat while the activities take place.



Parenting in itself is a difficult role, 
but single parents have an even more arduous task ahead of them. 
In addition to their own role, 
they need to fulfill the role of the absent parent.

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