Man : Impatience

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It is the 
         a. feeling of frustration, 
         b. anger, and 
         c. resentment, 
being unable to control a situation to your liking.

       Impatience robs us of our happiness. Patience is so difficult to achieve because it requires us to be actively passive about a situation. It’s like trying to forget something. The more you think about it, the harder it is to forget it.

Impatience Generally AffectsI :

§  Emotions.

Frustration makes you feel increasingly angry and depressed.

§   Self Esteem  

Leads to a lowering of self-esteem , because your inability to make things happen more quickly that brings about the feelings of inadequacy of the person.

§  Relationship

Hurts your own relationships because it makes you short-tempered, irritable, and insensitive toward the feelings of others. It blocks your ability to relate compassionately with others.

§  Hurts Others

Hurts those to whom you expose your impatient feelings and attitude.

Impact of Being Impatient

1. Consistent Dissatisfaction and Energy Waste
• It increases you to be consistently dissatisfied, upset or angry.  You could harbour negative feelings. It is a waste of energy that can be better focused.
2. Potential to Destroy Relationships
• It can help destroy relationships with other people, including your friends, family and partners. Can cause people to withdraw their interest and effort in dealing with you.
• Offended by the notion that their efforts are not good enough, even if you do not intend. When you demand quicker action from people, you must remember that feelings are involved.
3. Lose Motivation to Accomplish Goals
• Risk of feeling overwhelmed. Rushing to accomplish a defined set of goals may result losing the motivation to do the best job possible.
4. Fail to Reflect on Successes
• Impatient people move from task to task without fully appreciating the work that they accomplished. It is important to reflect on how far you have come in your work to feel the positive effects of your work.

Impatience Situations

There are 5 major types of situations where we experience impatience:

1. Dealing with Children
2. Dealing with (Difficult) Adults
3. Waiting (short time periods)
4. Waiting (long time periods)
5. When Things Don’t Work – computers, cars, gadgets, projects, writing, anything that’s not going your way!

How to Be Patient

   1. With Children.

• Understanding :

 Children move at a slower pace. Contemplate this moment of being a child. They have not yet become a fast moving robot.

• Slow down ;

They have their own pace and they enjoy it. The rest of the world can just wait!

• Don’t react negatively :  

Negative emotions in inborn in your child. Try to understand why they are having that emotion. Tiredness and frustration are two emotions they have. Do not yell. Instead seek to help them through their emotions.

When a child is tired, take a break and a hug can go a long way towards diffusing a frustrated child. If the child is frustrated, handle their frustration positively.

• Compassion.

Children are very vulnerable. Need to be compassionate. Taking time out to talk about how they feel will make them a stronger adult someday.

• Snapping out of it.

If the child is having difficulty letting go of the negative feelings, distraction will snap will help. Humour works great. The earlier, the better they will be able to do it on their own later on.

• Hyperactivity.

If the child is in high energy mode, the solution is to get them to work off some of that energy productively. A trip to the park, beach or a field for some physical activity is optimal. Tip: try to avoid too much sugar, chocolate and TV as these seem to make kids a little cranky.

   2.    With Adults

• Compassion.

Always question yourself the reason this person is acting this particular way.  Seek to understand. Try asking the person in a spirit of compassion not in anger or judgemental.

• Acceptance :

Dealing with a difficult person, accepting the “person as they are”. It is difficult but sending positive energy will be well received by the person.

• Force Field :

Difficult people send negativity force. Shields yourself from the negativity impact. Don’t absorb the negativity. Watch and observe it like a balloon floating by.

• Avoidance :

Stay clear or spend as little time as possible with negative people. When conflict arises with a difficult person, have a goal of moving forward.

• Be Prepared :

 Plan how you will react, how to remain calm, and what you might say.

• Vent Your Feelings Later and Laugh :

Amused and share your stories later in the day with a friend or loved about the incidence with difficult people.

   3. Waiting – Short Term (waiting in line, someone)

• Read :

Use the time to read a magazine, your cell phone  or something you’ve brought with you.

• Write :

Makes some plans. Write a letter. Journal about your day, feelings, whatever.

• Draw :  

Do some sketching to make your brain stronger!

• Rest Your Eyes :

Close your eyes and daydream about the good things.

• Creative Thinking Time:

The best time to think. Waiting is a great opportunity for this. Try it with your eyes closed.

• Play Games : 

Crossword puzzle or games with people around you. You can play “20 Questions,” Hangman, or Pictionary.

• Choose Not to Get Mad :  

Self talk. Someone’s life is in danger, just let it go. Need to wait for my turn.

• Tip: Always bring reading or writing materials with you where ever you go!

   4.   Planning – Long Term (to reach a long term goal)

• Break It Into Smaller Chunks :

Segment your goal into smaller compartments. Focus on today’s portion. Establish mini check points on your way to reaching that goal and celebrate the smaller accomplishments along the way.

• Distraction :

Passive waiting is such a bored. In this case, keep busy. Work on productive things, you need to get done anyway.

• Occasional Daydream :  

The situation you are it doesn’t help, so be happy and assumed something good happenings.

• Be Present :  

You are here today and should not back out. Look for the good and enjoy the moment. This is good to do whether what you are waiting for is good or bad.

   5.   When Things Don’t Work 

• Say No to Anger :

Upon starting a project or encountering a roadblock, the first step is to decide not to get angry. Anger only serves to drain your energy which you will need for problem solving.

• Read the Instructions :  

Reading the instructions and manual meticulously.

• Slow Down :

Hastiness and rushing always brings about accidents and oversights. Take a deep breath and go slow.

• Ask for Help :

It may be easy but hard to do. When asking help, we think we are burdening. But most times, people like to be needed, they like to help, and they find it flattering. It’s easy to do. Just ask. Let your pride go and focus on your goal of solving your problem.

• Take a Break!

This is so important. Squeeze in at least a short break. Longer breaks are better. During this time your subconscious will be given the space it needs to come up with a solution for you!

• Analyze. Take a step back and assess whether it is worth your time to continue to work on this problem. If not, consider aborting the mission and starting anew.

Patience is a matter of control. 

Boil it down to the maxim, 

"control what you can control and let the rest go."

Patience, as Lokos explains, 

can be helpful when coping with the aging process.

We cannot control what happens to us but we can control how we respond to it.