Man : Declare (Promise)

Promise

It seems so easy a promise to make

Yet keeping a word is always at stake

Words are found when needed to say

Yet not around come the due day

Forever and always and ever as well

Simple to use and easy to tell

Tomorrow and after and further ahead

May never come for the things you said 

Words are wasted when you don’t intend

A promise means nothing comes the end

By Cerca Trova 

A promise is a commitment by someone to do or not do something. As a noun  promise means a declaration assuring that one will or will not do something. As a verb  it means to commit oneself by a promise to do or give.

        A PROMISE, according to various sources, is:
               • To make a declaration assuring that something will or will not be done.
               • A declaration assuring that one will or will not do something; a vow.
               • A verbal commitment by one person to another agreeing to do (or not to do)
                  something in the future
               • An express assurance on which expectation is to be based
               • Indication of something favorable to come; expectation

A promise is 
i. a commitment made, 
ii. an agreement or assurance, 
iii. an oath taken for a person or for oneself. 
The person making the promise, vows to fulfill the task or keep his word. A promise can be in spoken or unspoken form. The unspoken form is mostly a mutual understanding or a moral duty towards someone or some things usually.

Promises can be made to friends, family, and in some cases, even foes (as a revenge). Promises can create or destroy dreams. Sometimes things that were always expected from a person could be a promise, an unspoken one. Such promises when broken are the most disastrous, be it to oneself or to someone else. “Words said can never be taken back” the same applies to promises. Once made, they will either make or break the purpose.

Promise is Good for YOU 

Merriam-Webster Dictionary accords a promise as : "a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified; or a legally binding declaration that gives the person to whom it is made a right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of a specified act."

·     Motivation behind the promise

We do something be it purely out of good intentions or  it is for what we will receive in the end. Believing that we need to say "yes" to get what we want or to ensure someone will like us. Making people happy.  

But we need to  honest with yourself about why you are committing to something, getting out of the deal. These two impasses is an important  clue as to whether or not you should make the promise in the first place.

·     Be realistic

Life moves at the speed of light and we need so often to make decision fast. In making the decision there is a need to consider your schedule, and upkeep a promise. It is always better to under-commit and over-deliver than over-promise and fall short.

·     Is it crucial for me to make this promise?

There is nothing in life that says you MUST make promises to others. Moreover if someone makes  a  promise but fail to deliver. It is fine to simply set appropriate expectations. People respect honesty even when faced with an answer that might not be exactly what they want to hear.

·     When I break a promise, do I handle it well?

When a significant event arises that prevents us from meeting a friend as promised,  a good gesture to inform so as  they  can make other plans. People will reasons when it comes to a change of plans, as long as we have an explanation and are kind about it.

Keeping these things in mind can help us manage commitments more effectively, which helps us feel positive about our track record! Keeping our promises is good for others and good for us!

A Child Promise

To perpetuate the habit of keeping promises and abiding by covenants in the society, it is imperative to train from their very childhood to be true to their word. Training starts with childhood family environment. The child emulates the actions and words of the parents. The parents set an example for the children.

By nature, the child expects that promises will be kept. When the parents fulfill their small promises the child gets trained in this important aspect of life. But if taken lightly of this small promises lightly and neglecting them, the child takes the negative example and develops the habit of breaking his word. They start believing that promises are made to be broken.

 Parents do make false promises to momentarily calm the child, they are inadvertently training the child to make false promises. Can such children grow into respectable individuals?

Considering the lives of the people around you, or your own life, there will be innumerable instances of such false promises and threats made to the innocent children. Imagine the impact they are making on the impressionable minds of the children, the injustice is perpetrated on the innocent children quite innocuously! The ignorant parents don’t know that they are sinning by making false promises and also they are training the child to follow in their footsteps.

The Real World: Adult Version

As adults, commitments start to get more serious, and the failure to keep some promises comes with teeth or clauses to punish us or compensate the other party if we don’t make good on our word. In a litigious society, that same blaming and fault-finding attitude seems to apply even to more informal commitments. Punishment and consequences are a hard reality if we don’t deliver on our agreements.

§  Over promising

There are several  ways we can get caught over-promising: perhaps over-thought of the mind  or forgetting about your preexisting commitments. Don’t over-commit, as it can leave us stressed and doesn’t live up to anyone’s expectations, including our own.

§  Competence

Another sin is the commitment you had no business making—so again, you deliver some outrageous outcome or you don’t deliver at all. You are not competence in the kind of delivering the promises. Have a thought for those expecting of the delivery and feeling betrayed due to your non deliverance from you.

§  Circumstances

Finally, there are times when, through no fault of your own, you just can’t do what you said you would do. A traffic jam, out of stock, or someone else failed to deliver on a commitment to you that impacted your promises.

Nature of Commitment

There are commitments you are not going to keep no matter how hard you try, but even if you fail to keep them, you can still honor them.

The difference between “keeping” and “honoring”:

1. keeping a promise is about the letter of the promise,
2. while honoring a promise is about the spirit.

It is possible to keep a promise while not honoring it. People will forgive an honored but un-kept promise i.e. (inform about the late or non delivery), but it takes a real saint to let go of an un-honored promise—kept or not (keeping silence of non delivery).

Practical aspects of honoring a commitment are:

• Respect

A promised involves the people involved (promise), yourself (promisor), and your words (the promised). A respect for they are expecting, not a shortcuts or half-measures delivery of the promised.

• Communicating

Communicating up front to ensure that there are no misunderstandings, but even in a case where the commitment has already been made. If there is non or a slack in meeting expectations, it is best  to say so not after you fail but as soon as you have knowledge of the misdeed.

It may not be exactly what they want to hear but it shows you honor your commitment by giving voice to any approaching failure.

• Productive effort

To give it your best shot, and if possible, that should be obvious to others. If you do this, it’s easier for everyone to accept if something goes awry.

 Promises Action Plan

Promises can be confusing. It's very easy to make a promise, but sometimes not so easy to keep it. However, the person you've made the promise to is relying on you to keep your word, and so you should.

a.      Think before you speak.

A difficult act to do yet  it sounds so simple but is actually quite complicated. People something without thinking it through properly. By the time you realize you shouldn't have said it, the person you said it to have taken it seriously or is relying on it. To avoid this situation, and avoid making impossible promises, don't open your mouth if you haven't thought it through.

2. Think about the person you're talking to.

If the person you make a promise to is in a vulnerable or hurt condition, then think very carefully about making a promise to them. People in this type of condition tend to take a promise at heart, and will gain hope from it. It will be a bad idea to break a promise to them.

3. Consider what you can and can't do.

Sometimes we promise somebody something because we wish we could do it for them, not because we actually can. Think about this very, very carefully. If you promise something, be sure that you will be able to fulfill it without a struggle or a chance of failure. This can sometimes be the main cause of broken promises.

4. Take your promises seriously.

If you make a promise, think about it. Consider what you can do, how you can fulfill it, and the impact it will have on people. This step ties in with the first one, and is extremely important. If you don't take your promises seriously, and consider the consequences of them, you can end up breaking them or hurting other people.

5. Make an effort.

If the answer doesn't come to you immediately, don't just give up. Do what you can to fulfill and keep your promise. This will ensure you keep your promises and gain trust from those close to you. The solution may not always be obvious, but it's always there.

Broken Promises

When we don't keep a promise to someone, 
a. it communicates to that person that we don't value him or her. 
b. we have chosen to put something else ahead of our commitment. 
c. even when we break small promises, others learn that they cannot count on us. 
Tiny fissures develop in our relationships marked by broken promises.

We are not only communicating all of this to others, we are telling ourselves that we don't value our own word. We think it is okay to let someone down, to say something we don't mean, or to fail to follow through on something we said we would do. Not keeping a promise is the same as disrespecting yourself. Ultimately it can harm our self-image, self-esteem, and our life. If you are making more commitments than you can keep, ask yourself the following questions:

When this happens, don’t expect them to keep their promise in the future. Trust once damaged, must be earned again. Be sure to surround yourself with those types of people that you can depend on. Then you can be relatively confident they will follow through on their promises and you don’t need to check up on them.

Broken promises are one of the biggest mistakes that one can make in their life  and career. Broken promises are a problem because:

• Broken promises diminish the value of your word.

People are expecting  on you when you’ll say you do something. If you regularly fail to deliver people will rely less on you. Your reputation is tarnished and hard to get another  opportunity.

• Broken promises decrease your ability to work for and with others.

Regularly breaking your promises to commit on your projects, teams, and committees, failure in your disposition will find you  will sooner or later. The responsibility and contribution that people relies on have been betrayed. The dire consequences maybe your credibility had been lost and the worst scenario would, you may be out of any job.

• Broken promises lessen our own self esteem.

Commitment comes with sincerity, integrity and seriousness. If there is a breach in your commitment to fulfill, your self esteem suffers. People perceptions will  question your integrity and prejudiced your honor and dignity.

Refuting Broken Promises

Here are ways to start building a reputation for reliability, delivery, and contribution:

1.   Don’t forget the things that you promise to do.

For businesses and professionals a verbal agreement most often vague and tend to be perceived differently by both parties. A promise or agreement may become unfulfilled, because you have differing views on what precisely was promised.

Human memories are faulty, perception is skewed, and wording tends to be unclear. Practice to get professional agreements in writing. This makes is much easier for both parties to keep their word. When both parties are very clear on what is expected; it is more likely that agreements will be upheld.

Write it down! When you promise to take action voluntarily or assigned, put them on a list. This keeps the specifics of your responsibilities in one place. It is a recorded reminder of actions otherwise it might be forgotten  it or overpowering by something urgent or fun.

2.   You should clarify what is expected of you.

Ensure that you and those you work with are synchronized. Match the action you’re supposed to be doing with the expectations the other person or people have. Get the confirmation in writing.  A summary of a meeting which identifies the action items need to be taken.

3.      Priotize.

The adage we use in sales is “Under Promise, Over Deliver”. There will always be more things for you to do than you can possibly attend to. Do only those things that are of highest importance and be clear that you won’t be doing the rest. Get agreement on what those vital activities are.

4.      Use ‘As Promised’ in your communications.

When writing follow-up emails or talking to people state specifically that you are delivering on your commitment. “Prior to the discussion is a list  of things to do. As promised I’m sending the list to you attached to this email.”

5.      If you might miss a deadline or have to stop one project to give attention to another, renegotiate.

Diplomacy and tact need to taken if there is a changed  in the deliverance of the promised agenda. Acknowledge and renegotiate the delivery time for you will get credit for integrity and keeping your commitment to deliver.

6.      Make it concrete

Make sure with certainty that you will be able to do something before you commit to it. Then be clear on the expectation, action, or result that is agreed to. Then set a firm deadline. Firm promises that are set in stone are more likely to be kept. Never make a promise that you are not sure you can keep.

7.   Small promises count

People often dismiss small promises as unimportant, but that is just not true. A failure to take the minor promises seriously, you will destroy trust and damage your reputation.

Failing to keep these small promises gives the appearance of being disorganized and irresponsible. You make the other person feel dismissed and unimportant. Conversely, you can build trust by demonstrating that you keep your word even on seemingly inconsequential things.

Perhaps even more important, when people realize that you consistently keep smaller promises, they will reasonably believe that you can keep your word on important things. This will actually help build your reputation   as a trustworthy person.

8.   Do it anyway

Don’t rationalize or make excuses for yourself. Push yourself a bit, work a little longer, sacrifice something else, persist, and persevere, despite what it costs you. Both the external and internal cost of failing will be much higher.

Following through on a difficult promise not only gives you satisfaction, but also raises the level of respect you receive from others. If you truly want to be successful in life, have high quality relationships, and advance your career  or business, hold promises as sacred agreements, don’t miss deadlines, and make a practice to follow through on your commitments. Don’t make excuses.

That said, on rare occasions something truly unavoidable prevents you from making a deadline or keeping a promise. When this happens, ask to alter the promise or be released from the agreement. Most people will understand if you have consistently kept your promises in the past.

9.   Expect the same of others

Most often, people will keep their word. You should expect the best of people and give them your trust until they prove they are not worthy of it. Don’t make the mistake of taking agreements you make with others lightly. Be clear about what they are promising, and then hold them to it.

However, when someone fails to keep their word, don’t excuse them. Be clear and honest in your disappointment. Remind them of their broken promise and let them know how failure to act on their part has inconvenienced you, cost you, hurt you, or let you down.

Tips

• Never make a promise you know you can't keep.
• Put effort into your promises - don't give up on them easily.
• Try not to make too many promises at once, because they may clash with each other or become a struggle.

Warnings

• Some promises, no matter how much we want to make them, are impossible. This is unfortunate but also very much true.

Edited by Booky, Ben Rubenstein, Flickety, Travis Derouin and 9 others

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/productivity/do-you-make-this-mistake-as-a-professional.html

Edited by Booky, Ben Rubenstein, Flickety, Travis Derouin and 9 others

http://frog-dog.com/articles/detail/brands_are_promises/

Michelle Gielan in Lights, Camera... Happiness!

Published on February 19, 2011 by Aaron Ben-Zeév, Ph.D. in In the Name of Love

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/5-tips-to-help-you-keep-your-promises.html