Man : Young One (Puberty)

A period of physical and psychological development from the onset of puberty to maturity.

A transitional period of development between youth and maturity: the adolescence of a nation.

Adolescence:  teenage years between 13 and 19 and can be considered the transitional stage from childhood to adulthood. 

A.   Adolescent Growth

• A very confusing process and unexpected happening for the teenage and family.
• Certain changes, tensions, conflicts, and problems unfold in an orderly progression. 

§  In child formative years, before puberty, physical dependency has eroded 
 and the child is more rebellious and seeks to be more independent.

§  This is the age when attitudes and orientation to life are formed.

§  With greater parent positive interventions and schools activities, the life of the child can be transform into a more productive and useful adolescence. 
 

B.    THE JOURNEY OF ADOLESCENCE.

      I.     LETTING CHILDHOOD  GO.

Adolescence (around ages 9 - 13):

§  Early negative attitude –

o   increased dissatisfaction and not contented being treated as a child,

o   less interested in childhood activities and bored

o   restlessness from not knowing what to do,

o   Grievance about limiting on personal freedom.

§  Active and passive resistance –

o   more questioning of authority,

o   arguing with rules,

o   delaying compliance with parental requests,

o   procreating  normal home and school responsibilities go (chores and homework)

§  Early experimentation –

·         testing limits to see what can be gotten away with, including such activities as

o   shoplifting,

o   vandalizing,

o   prank calls,

o   And the beginning of substance experimentation.

§  For parents,

o   behaviour  undergoing a change for the worse

o   Insist on responsible behaviour while maintaining positive connection to the young person during testing time.

                                                               

    II.     FORMING A FAMILY OF FRIENDS.

Mid Adolescence (around ages 13 - 15):

§  Conflict over social freedom with parents, particularly the freedom to be with friends.

o   Lying to escape consequences from wrongdoing or forbidden. (More deceptive communication with parents.)

o   More peer pressure with adventures and RISK-TAKING  in order to belong, including substances misuse to be accepted.

§  For parents,

o   Need for immediate gratification and social belonging with peers

o   Take a hard stands for his best interests against what the young person wants, generating more conflict in the process.

  III.     ACTING MORE GROWN UP.

Late Adolescence (around ages 15 - 18):

§  More independence and doing grown-up activities –

o   Part time employment

o   Driving a car

o   Dating

o   Sexual experience

o   Recreational substance use at social gatherings

o   Significant emotional (and often sexual) involvement in romantic relationship

o   More grief and anxiety over separation from old friends (and perhaps leaving family) and uneasiness to undertake more worldly independence.

§  For parents,

o   Pushes for adult freedoms that can be dangerous to manage,

o   To insist on adequate communication, understanding and responsibility.

 IV.     STEPPING OFF ON ONE'S OWN.

Trial Independence (around ages 18 - 23):

§  Lowering of self-esteem   due  not being able to adequately carry:

o   All  demands and commitments of adult responsibility

o   Increased anxiety having to pursue self discipline and sense of direction in life.

o   Confuse about peers directions of life and denying problems or escape responsibility

o    the beginning stage of  substance misuse  and hard drugs 

§  For parents,

o   Faces the harsh realities of separation from home, independent living, and self-support,

o   To respect decisions and allow consequences to take affect

o   To give mentoring advice (when asked) but

o   Not to rescue from bad choices, and

o   To express trust  in the young person's capacity to learn and recover from mistakes.

C.    Social IIlness

§  Bullying

·         Bullying is a major and common problem in schools. It destroys self-image of the victim and leaves a long-term scar on him.

·         Both the bully and the victim lack self-esteem and some might have undergone abuse in their life. A bully is most often an unhappy or frightened child who has angry, bitter or defeatist attitude to life.

·         Parents :

o   Encourage your child to report bullying incidents to you. 

o   Coach your child in possible alternatives.

o   Avoidance is often the best strategy

o    Encourage your child to seek help and to report bullying incidents to someone s/he feels safe with at the school: 

§  Delinquency

·         It is considered as a symptom of the rebelliousness of puberty.

o   A sign that the child is emotionally or morally disturbed.

·         The young tendency to rebel :

o   Against the status quo and

o   Follow their role models has tremendous influence in their behaviour and many turn to anti-social activities.

·         Parents :

o   Conscious about what is going on in their child's world and

o   Discuss the issue with him so that he grows with positive attitude towards life and shuns away from anti-social behaviour.

       §  Racism

·         Racism is an historical disease is on the rise.

o   Perceived racial superiority and inferiority.

o    Racism creates fear, distrust and disturbing environment. It kills of decent human behaviour.

·         Parents :

o   Educate their child with the humane teaching of man's diversity. It is a disease to be

o    Be assertive and not give in.

       §  Family Disintegration

·         It is a facts :

o   That babies are born out of wedlock,

o   The number of lone parents has increased people are getting used to 'solo' living.

o   Increased teen-age pregnancy,

·         Materialism has given rise to individualism, which is making it hard for people to live under one roof

·         Marriage is losing its importance as the

o   Source of permanent relationship between man and woman,

o   Divorce is increasing at an alarming rate and living together is
becoming norm.

·         The TV, computer and other gadgets are

o   Keeping man away from other people,

o   Loneliness has become perpetual friend of many. Its impact

       §  Addiction

·         The addiction issue is frightening

o   Drug, sex and violence are intertwined.

o   Alcoholism.

o   The detrimental physical effect of smoking is also ignored.

o   The health, economy and social life are ruined.

o   Peer pressure in the schools works as catalysts for adolescents to enter into the world of addiction.

·         Parents:

o   need to be conscious about who is their child hanging around

      §  Sex and Sexuality

·         A determining factor in modern life.

·         Sexual promiscuity is giving rise to sexually transmitted diseases (STD) like HIV, gonorrhoea, syphilis, etc, especially among young people.

     §  Eroticism, Pornography and Modelling

·         Eroticism, capitalising mainly young and attractive woman's body, has probably become one of the worst weapons to debase human desire for innocence

o   Pornography and modelling are the tools to proliferate sin in the society.

o   The eroticism in adverts, TV films and pornographic print media are provocative to the adolescent mind.

o   Extreme feminism sees woman's role in the society as competitive to man, rather than complementary.

        §  Laissez Faire Morality

·         Societies have fallen in the grip of amoral and immoral values.

·         Man is lost in the moral maze.

·         Morality has become selective and double standard has virtually takeover
international decision making.

D.   Fighting the Ills

      §  Protective Shield

o   Create a protective shield around their young children through various means.

o   Set a good example.

o   Be involved with your children and monitor their behaviour.

o   Use discipline that is firm but not coercive.

o   Encourage children to make their own decisions and help them learn from the consequences of those decisions.

o   Teach your children how to avoid and resolve conflicts with siblings.

o   Teach your children life skills such as decision-making, problem solving and conflict resolution.

o   Teach your children to value honesty, compassion and respect for others, by being an empathetic parent.

o   For children who are timid or lack friends, arrange for them to participate in positive social groups which meet their interests.

o   If you think that your child is being bullied, ask him or her directly.

o   If your child is bullying others, use appropriate, non-violent consequences as a way to confront the situation and help your child learn alternative behaviours.

o   Do not tolerate violence in your home.

A small island in a sea of social ills can easily be washed away in time. An epidemic cannot be fought out by running away from it or through selfish attempt of individual protection.

Excerpt on February 2, 2009 by Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D. in Surviving (Your Child's) Adolescence