Man : Valueless (Sacrifices)

Man Sacrifice

    A sacrifice means to give up things which we love and dearly hold, which we value. 
The value may be 
       i. tangible and concrete or 
      ii. intangible and 
   iii.  abstract. 
      The tangible aspect is time, money, worldly possessions, physical abilities, life. 
     Important abstract things may include our ties of love and affection, especially familial, likes and dislikes, preferences and prejudices, views and opinions, desires and aspirations, pleasures and comforts, status and roles, or merely our ego.

Basic Principles

Three basic principles in understanding sacrifice.

a.        Giving up something we love and value. When we dispense away money, or life, or a familial ties, what in realty, giving up i.e. sacrifice, is our love for money, life or a relative, not the object itself.

b.       It is more difficult and a necessity to sacrifice abstract things rather than the concrete.

c.       We will give up the things for we love more and to which we attach greater value. It is too small to be qualifying as acts of heroism.

Tangible Sacrifices

a.      Time

     Time is our most precious commodity. 
   Nothing we covet and desire in life can be obtained except by spending time, and spending it properly, in its pursuit. Spending our time to seek pleasure, to earn money and worldly possessions, to work, to enjoy, or we may simply idle it away - doing nothing.

    Time is the first thing that is demanded of us. It takes time and sacrifices to fight for a way of life. Using time to think, take actions. It takes time to read, visit the sick. Usurping and using every moment in seeking pleasure of the heart and happiness, in fulfilling our commitment to humanity.

     But, in reality if we reflect more deeply, you will realize that the sacrifice is the time being spent, on meaningless, unimportant or less important. Eating your time, sacrificing the other many other things which should have been your time spend wisely.

     Time is one thing you cannot hold on to even for a moment, it will continuously slip away from you, in whatever way you choose to spend it. It is of great value to you when you gain from it. Time will melt away, what you earn will stay.

     Remain ever-conscious that every moment in time, depending on how you choose to spend it, will turn into either eternal bliss or an endless misery.

b.      Worldly Possessions and Money

     Most of your time is spent in the pursuit of money or worldly possessions obtained through money. 
      Their desire and love is ingrained in our nature. "Alluring man is the love of worldly desires - women and children and heaped up treasures of gold and silver, and horses of high mark, and cattle, and lands”.

     This love and desire of worldly things, let us remember, is neither condemnable nor even bad or evil. The world is not inherently evil. Money and wealth are not despised. If we abandon this-world, we have nothing left by which to gain those priceless treasures.

    What makes this-world evil 
     a.   is when we forget that all this has been placed at our disposal for  this-world only,    
    b.  as a means to real and eternal goals and happiness. 
    When means become ends, they bring misery by diverting us away from what is of real value to us.

     Worldly possessions are not easy things to give away; so many falter and fail when confronted with real choices. What will help you to offer these difficult sacrifices is to constantly remember certain things.

    Sacrificing wealth has never been easy. But ours is an age when a better standard of living, enjoyment and pleasure, consumerism and material gains have become the only objects of life. Hence you should watch carefully lest you fail in this respect.

c.       Life

    A time may come when you will be required to sacrifice your life. To lay down your life is the highest act of valiant. Life is your most precious possession. To sacrifice it means you have to sacrifice everything which life gives or makes possible, all concrete and abstract things that have been mentioned earlier.

    It needs great strength to sacrifice your life. Only by being ready to die can you overwhelm hostile forces. Only then the door of success shall open. By dying you attain life, both for yourself and for the community. Unless you are prepared to die you forfeit the right to live especially as a community.

Not that every one of us will be called upon to give away his life.

Intangible Sacrifices

a.       Familial Love

   Familial love is the strongest and the most predominant relationship that we have in this world. 
    From childhood till death, 
   i.    love for parents and children, 
   ii.  for husbands and wives, 
   iii. for brothers and sisters, 
even for other relations, remains at the centre of our lives, it dominates all our concerns. We usually live and work and acquire worldly possessions for the sake of love and responsibility to them.

    It claims upon our heart and mind, attention and loyalty, time and wealth as prior to every other claim. The familial bonds of affection bind us to themselves as no other bonds do. So often we hear someone saying 'my family has the first claim upon me' or someone taking pride in being 'totally devoted and loyal to his or her family'.

  In the first instance, familial love demands obedience to parents, to elders, to the ways of forefathers or customs and society. Such obedience, must abide by your reason, your conscience, your faith, the guidance.

     You should sacrifice all feelings and ties of love with such inimical and hostile family members. Love and enmity cannot go together. Only by offering the maximum sacrifice of totally enunciating love for them can you have faith engraved on your heart.

     Often you will be under subtle pressures and requiring continuing sacrifices in many ways. Choices, sometimes their dislike and disapproval will be made plain to you, explicitly or implicitly; you will have to disregard them. Sometimes pleas and demands will be made in the name of love, rights, or authority, all finding sanction in Islam; you will have to resist them in a proper manner. Wives and children will ask to be loved and cared for; you will have to strike a balance.

b.      Friendships

   Friendships constitute another major area of inter-personal relations of love and affection. Friendships are formed round common temperaments, interests, pursuits and goals. Equally significantly, many enmities and dislikes you will have to put to. Conversely, you will have to make new friendships: someone you may have always disliked may find a place in your heart and become dear to you.

    Whether they are familial relations or friendships, social relations serve a vital need. They provide the necessary strength and reinforcement by their approval and support. Sacrifice is vital as social support and relations are disrupted, approval is withdrawn, replaced by negative disapproval, long-standing friendships are broken.

   Like friendship, your likes and dislikes, like your relations, dominate every part of your life. They extend to views and opinions, taste and temperament, feelings and emotions, attitudes and behaviors. Each in its own way needs to be sacrificed at times.

c.       Views and Opinions

  Your own views and opinions are always very dear to you. Your feelings of attachment to your views only grow stronger once you have become committed to a purpose in life, to a world-view. Then you develop a strong sense of right and wrong, truth and falsehood. More importantly, you often think that there can be only one way to look at things: either right or wrong, with your own view always being right. However, your own views - on a particular matter, strategy, and way of doing things - may not find acceptance by others. You may then be required to forgo them, withdraw them, or even act against them. Unless you view something as a clear matter of violation, you must sacrifice your views. This may be more important for strengthening collective life than  the sacrifice of wealth.

d.      Feelings and Emotions

   Feelings and emotions are highly regards for human. At times you must give up doing things you, even if you like them and find them attractive and useful; at other times; you must involve yourself in things you do not like doing, which are against your temperament.

    At times you should suppress your urge to speak, and fall silent, even if that urge is compulsive; at times you may have to overcome your desire to remain silent, and speak up. You may feel anger rising up in you, an urge to revenge, to speak evil - yet you must hold your tongue.

      At times you may prefer solitude and quiet, yet you may have to plunge into intense social activities and contacts; at others, you may very much want to mix socially, but you may have to withdraw into solitude.

    You may aspire to be 'something' or 'somebody'; those aspirations may have to be totally abandoned. Your ambitions, your plans, may need to be scrapped.

e.      Taste and Temperament

   Even in very mundane affairs you will be required to sacrifice your taste and temperament. You will have to live, eat, sleep and dress in ways which may not be to your liking, to your taste or in harmony with your life-style and preferences. You must accept them, and accept them without grumbling, willingly, without hurting others, causing inconvenience or disruption.

f.        Ego

  And, finally, your ego, your self-esteem, your image of your own self, your love of this image. Sometimes hidden, sometimes open, it lies at the root of so many evils. To annihilate 'self' may be a desirable, the only thing required is to surrender your ego and let go. Our self-esteem becomes so important to us that it breeds obstinacy, stubbornness, obduracy, contempt of others. To sacrifice it becomes one of the most difficult acts in life, but it has to be done.

       In a way we are required to make small, very small, sacrifices every moment in life. For at every step and every moment we are faced with a choice - however small - to go one way or to go the other way. Every choice made means taking a decision to sacrifice something. Even, as you choose to offer to wake early (morning), you sacrifice your sleep and the warmth of your bed.

    There are sacrifices to be made in regular day to day living - in home, in work place, in market, in social contact, in organizational work, even in privacy - which are likely to be missed. They are more difficult to make simply because they are not even recognized as suitable stuff for sacrifice.

Psychology

     When a person learns to sacrifice egotism in their lower centers, especially egotism within their own emotional center, the individual will inevitably move towards their own essence of personal truth. Essence is immediate, does not carry a grudge, living within the present moment.

     Egotism can never live in the present moment. Egotism is always in duration, rethinking the past, forever plotting the future. The inner/higher spiritual realms within a human being are able to "be" in the present moment. The spiritual realms within mankind are equal to all of life's challenges.

       The difference between emotion, (happiness, sadness, contentment, etc.), and sensation is that emotion is nothing but a pure force, whereas, a sensation is the emotion's physical effect, (the experiencing of an emotion within the moving center). 
     The more the physical sensation, the more the emotion has been polluted by egotism. Happiness, sadness, as well as contentment produce negligible physical results; whereas, being "offended" or being misunderstood, tends to produce tremendous physical effects: tenseness, headaches upset stomachs, inability to sleep, etc.

     In sharp contrast, Self Sacrificing, Awe, Wonder and Shame are all higher emotions. Higher emotions contain a dual awareness of one's individual self, as well as an awareness of something higher. For example, when a person feels Shame, they feel two states of awareness at once. One emotion is, 'what could be' (the ideal), and the other is - what is (the actual).

Self-Sacrificing Personality Type

The Interest of the Self-Sacrificing Personality Type

• serving others
• giving to others
• letting your needs wait until others' are well served
• being selfless and magnanimous
• being a saint
• being a good citizen

Main Interests of the Self-Sacrificing Personality Type

         i.                      being accepting of others;

i.      being tolerant of others' foibles, and never reproving others harshly;

ii.    sticking with others through thick and thin

       ii.                         serving others;

i.      being helpful to others

      iii.                        being long-suffering;

i.      shouldering your own burdens in life

     iv.                        being humble;

i.      being neither boastful nor proud;

ii.    avoiding being fussed over;

iii.   avoiding being in the limelight

       v.                       enduring things;

i.      having much patience;

ii.    having a high tolerance for discomfort

     vi.                        deferring to others by being noncompetitive and unambitious;

i.      being comfortable coming in second, or even last

    vii.                      being considerate in your dealings with others;

i.      being ethical, honest, and trustworthy

  viii.                        being generous;

i.      giving others the shirt off your back if they need it;

ii.    not waiting to be asked

Characteristic Traits and Behaviors

Dr. John M. Oldham has defined the Self-Sacrificing personality style. The following seven characteristic traits and behaviors are listed in his The New Personality Self Protrait 

     

     a.    Generosity.

    Individuals with the Self-Sacrificing personality style will give you the shirts off their backs if you need them. They do not wait to be asked.    

      b.    Service.

    Their "prime directive" is to be helpful to others. Out of deference to others, they are noncompetitive and unambitious, comfortable coming second, even last.   

      c.    Consideration.

    Self-Sacrificing people are always considerate in their dealings with others. They are ethical, honest, and trustworthy.

      d.    Acceptance.

   They are nonjudgmental, tolerant of others' foibles, and never harshly reproving. They'll stick with you through thick and thin.

      e.    Humility.

    They are neither boastful nor proud, and they're uncomfortable being fussed over. Self-Sacrificing men and women do not like being the center of attention; they are uneasy in the limelight. 

      f .     Endurance.

    They are long-suffering. They prefer to shoulder their own burdens in life. They have much patience and a high tolerance for discomfort.

      g.    Artlessness.

    Self-Sacrificing individuals are rather naive and innocent. They are unaware of the often deep impact they make on other people's lives, and they tend never to suspect deviousness or underhanded motives in the people to whom they give so much of themselves.

Characteristic Traits and Behaviors

Criteria:

1. Self Fulfillment

It is very fulfilling to engage in self-sacrifice, it provides a sense of accomplishment and achievement to oneself. A self-sacrificing individual, for example, recognize human competing desires, would naturally choose sacrifice over generosity and feel the personal growth. People giving up a high paying job to teach in an inner city school. 

2. Valuable Morally

Certainly it is morally valued. Observing self-sacrifice of others can result in elevate your happiness and life.  Appreciating beauty and excellence and observing self-sacrifice encourages us to behave similarly. Everyone has the potential to make a sacrifice on the behalf of another; it is true character strength.  

3. Strengthen Dignity

A true self-sacrifice does not diminish others traits; it is builds upon the dignity of others. The peaceful protests of civil rights marchers and lunch-counter sitters demonstrated self-sacrifice even though it exposed them to the risk of being heckled, arrested or even lynched.  

4. A Selfless Act

Self-sacrifice has non-felicitous opposites to selfishness, coldness, thoughtlessness, inconsiderateness, and egoism, all of which are unappealing.  

5. Built Personality

Self-sacrifice is also trait-like. Self-sacrifice is built on strength and essence of a person. A self-sacrificing person can easily be identified. Self-sacrifice is listed as a traits, dominating one’s life, time and situation, and when fully developed (likely late in life), might become the most important component of one’s personality.  

6. Distinctive

Self-sacrifice is distinct from other positive traits. Promoting or enhancing others rather than merely caring for their own momentary need. Requiring other strengths such as love, kindness or spirituality. A help blend of compassion – suffering must be alleviated, and citizenship – specifically responsible to one another because we share resources. Subjugating one’s own needs on behalf of others, the ultimate in self-regulation.

7. Harmoniously

Numerous institutions and rituals support the development and recognition of self-sacrifice. All the world’s major religions value self-sacrifice. Societies in general try to cultivate this strength. The character development values self-sacrifice through community service of students, and by instituting specific character development goals and curricula.  

Source: Oldham, John M., and Lois B. Morris. The New Personality Self-Portrait: Why You Think, Work, Love, and Act the Way You Do. Rev. Ed. New York: Bantam, 1995

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