Man : Winning Heart (Victorious Life)

Victorious Life

§  Victory (from Latin Victoria) is a term,

o   originally applied to warfare, given to success achieved in personal combat,

o   After military operations in general or, by extension, in any competition.

§  Success in a military campaign   is considered a strategic victory, while the success in a military engagement  is a tactical victory.

§  In terms of human emotion, victory is accompanied with strong feelings of happiness, and in human behaviour  is often accompanied with movements and actions  corresponding to threat preceding the combat, associated with the excess  endorphin  built up preceding and during combat.

History

§  History as a constant struggle between right and. wrong.

o   This struggle goes on at various levels of society between :

·     forces of right, ·     virtuousness, ·      love , ·     faith, ·     justice, ·    equality, ·   sacrifice, ·   correct thinking, ·    purity and ·   truth on the one hand, and

·    those of falsehood, ·     egoism, ·      materialism, ·     pragmatism, ·     tyranny, ·     selfishness, ·     injustice, ·     faithlessness, ·      discrimination, ·       corrup­tion, ·       infringement of others rights and ·        Wretchedness on the other.

Victorious Heart

§  What’s in your heart?

o   Is your heart filled with love, joy, peace, gentleness, goodness, and patience?

o Or is it filled with bitterness, jealousy, aggression, covetousness, and unforgiveness?

§  To change what’s coming out of your mouth, refocus your attention – in your thoughts, emotions, and most importantly, your heart.

§  In recent years neuroscientists have discovered that the heart has its own independent nervous system.

o   At least forty thousand nerve cells (neurons) exist in a human heart.

o   That’s the same amount found in various subcortical centers of the brain, the heart is more than a mere biological pump.

o   When you are deeply grieved or in painful sorrow, over-joy, and awe of accomplishment of your dream which part of your organ do you feel? Your heart!

•             To become aware of your own emotional state, you must ask yourself,

o   “How do I make others feel?”

o   If you are truly objective and honest with yourself, and can conclude :

·         That if  you seem to make others feel driven,

·         controlled,

·         angry,

·         or hurt,

o   There is a strong likelihood that you are brain-driven and that you are not in-touch with your heart.

Bursting of Emotion

•            “Whoever has no rule over his own emotions is like a city broken down, without walls.”

•          Emotions that become trapped inside a person seek resolution and expression.

o   Emotions do not die, we bury them; we are burying something that is still living.

•          How does anger become an automatic response that flows out of our subconscious minds?

o   We learn anger through repeated exposure to certain experiences in our environment.

o   Anger is a conditioned response. We learn it through repetition and through a linking of environmental cues.

o   We learn to express anger when we encounter certain stresses,

·         for example, the moment some people hear a loud voice,

·       they automatically draw certain conclusions and their bodies respond in a certain way,

·         Even if the person with the loud voice isn’t communicating with them.

§Over time, a person doesn’t even realize what it is that is triggering his anger –

o   He is simply tensed up and ready to fight or flee at all times.

o   One day he may find himself pouring out angry words or feeling anger if his colleague happens to leaves his file in a wrong slot;

o   Another day venting out anger in the presence of an incompetent salesclerk; another day a cab driver reckless driving triggers an expression of anger.

o   Rage boils up increasingly inappropriate ways the longer a person lives with pent-up rage.

o   Unfortunately, hostile individuals may not even realize how inappropriate their responses really are in relation to the circumstances or situations that trigger their responses.

§  When focus excessively on the negative elements of a certain situation to the exclusion of its good aspects,

o   We are ‘filtering out’ the positive and exaggerating the negative.

o   Very few situations, if any, are 100 percent negative; most of the time, we can find something good in every circumstance, even if we have to be really diligent about it.

§  If we expect perfection out of life in general, we usually tend to expect the same thing from people.

o   This type of ‘unrealistic expectation’ not only meets with a great deal of disappointment when our expectations are not met,

o   But it also places unbearable pressure on people we care about and can eventually destroy relationships.

•          People whose thoughts have convinced them they can never do anything right tend to make more mistakes than normal and have a high rate of failure.

•             Negative thinking of any kind

o   Steals joy and causes a variety of bad moods.

o   people do not enjoy being with us

•            People who tend to be negative in their thoughts and conversation are:

o   Usually unhappy and rarely content with anything for very long.

o   If something exciting does happen, they soon find something wrong with it.

o   As soon as they see one thing wrong, they tend to fix their minds on it; any enjoyment they might have is blocked by concentrating on the negative. 
 

Addictions

•         Addictions from insecurity and fear. It controls people and in comes in many varieties, but the worst addictions are the addictions of their mind:

•          Addictions to:

o  Emotions – ·       emotional outburst; throwing fits; moods swing; ·   feeling depressed, even nothing happens, the person will feel depressed ·    Making themselves miserable. o  Busyness – ·       Just want to look and feel busy but not being productive or efficient. ·       Pressuring themselves with lots of deadlines but not achieving much. o  Approval – ·       Wanting to please others and seeking their acceptance, loses their own sense of directions and purposes. o  Laziness – ·       Avoidance of responsibilities and high degree of fear of failure. o  Procrastination – ·       Delay out of fear and constantly being indecisive wanting and seeking perfection.

o  Avoidance – ·    Excuses for all things undone and blaming people and circumstances. o   Fear – ·    Slavery to fear; being fearful of almost all things. o   Control – ·    Wanting substantial control over other people’s lives, and keeping them close to their sides no matters what it may take or costs. o   Over-care – ·    This is a condition in which a person over-identifies with or becomes over-attached to what he cares about. It is at that point that care becomes over-care, where the mind turns genuinely caring intention into a mental and emotional drain.

§  Surrendering to any of the addictions :

o   steal your joy, stealing your peace,

o   ruining your relationships, and

o   Rob you of your victory.

•           The need to deal quickly with those issues and situations that cause us to feel anger, rather than to stuff our feelings inside.

o   Nothing is wrong with the emotion of anger per se.

o   What is damaging is how we express our anger

·         such as in violent actions,

·         hurting words,

·         damaging property,

·         Causing emotional hurt or physical injuries, etc.

o   What is also damaging is hanging on to anger and allowing it to build up inside us until we live in continual rage.

§  People have become experts at not feeling what they feel.

o   Become pros at pushing down any feelings that are painful or that others do not accept. What happens when we do this –

o   Holding on to expressions of frustration, anger, or rejection, refuse to cry, or to voice out our inner pain.

o   Our minds perceive that we are experiencing danger. The negative emotions we are feeling, which cause us pain, become emotions we try to avoid or reject.

o   A negative cycle begins.

·         The more we experience negative emotions and fail to express them,

·         the more the pressure inside us builds, the more our minds perceive that we are in a dangerous situation,

·         The more we feel we should flee
(shutting down our emotions further) or fight (railing against the emotions).

·         The result can be an inner rage, fear, or anxiety that boils just below the surface of expression for years or decades.

§  People who have stuffed emotional responses from childhood or for a significant length of time tend to express one or more of the following:

o   Perfectionism –Trying to keep everything ‘perfect’ in their lives so there will be no cause for them to experience rejection, failure, or criticism.

o   Control –Attempt to control every aspect of their lives – and the lives of others around them – so that no stray emotion has an opportunity to erupt or display itself.

o   Self-Doubt and Self-Deprecation –Grown up in environments in which they have felt unloved or rejected as children have not experienced the security and bonding of a normal parent-child relationship. Developed low self-esteem and feelings of low self-worth, even though they may have achieved a great deal later in life.

·This deeply seated low-esteem tends to manifest itself in

•          self-doubt 
•          second-guessing of decisions, 
•          a tendency to avoid making decisions or setting specific goals 
•      self-deprecation 
•          ridicule their own flaws, shrug off compliments,
•      overly critical comments about their own minor failures, flaws, or errors. 

 They are likely to be people who will instinctively respond with negativism to a new idea or situation.

o   Cynicism and Criticism –

·         those who have stuffed emotions sometimes take the judgment of averting attention away from themselves

·         To avoid any further rejection, hurt, or emotional distress.

·         Become masterful at making cynical comments or leveling criticism at others.

§  The real source of the struggle between rightful and wrongness exists within man himself.

o   Manifested in the form of selfishness, corruptable and immoral

§  The impact of these sentiments on society creates power waves which:

o   Culminating in corruption and wretchedness, and sometimes bringing about changes to happiness and prosperity of the society.

o   Truth is threatened by falsehood

§  It is this struggle for rightness, victorious and justice will prevail. Every form of wrong will be annihilated and oppression and tyranny will disappear finally.

§  It must be understood that success will not be gained easily. It will be achieved only after undergoing a lot of trouble and discomfort.

§  "Success and victory will not be attained except through sweat and blood".
In other words success and victory will be attained after making great efforts and undergoing heavy losses.

§  Love, kindness, righteousness and brotherhood will prevail. There will be no question of deceiving or ill-treating anybody; complete sincerity and cordiality will exist.

You can restore balance by observing your own thinking and making decisions about your thought and emotions. 
You can acknowledge any toxic feelings and then make a decision whether you will live in them or release them. 
Toxic feelings do not have to be a permanent part of your thoughts and heart’s fear.